DoulaMom

Finally!

2009-04-28T14:46:00.003-05:00

I've finally gotten around to sending in the last couple of pieces needed for my ALACE certification. Now, I just need ALACE to deal with their organization problems so they can certify me.
I should have been finished over a year ago. But, life got in the way. I promised myself I'd finish by the end of 2008. Then little Johnny developed a cyst on his eye, which turned into a horrible MRI experience, followed by several months of visits with our pediatrician, an opthamologist, a neurologist, and finally an eye surgeon. On April 8th, the cyst was removed in a relatively "minor" surgery. Any surgery requiring anesthesia is not "minor" in my opinion. Thankfully, he's okay now. He needs another MRI in March 2010 to check the spots on his brain that were found with the first MRI. The Neurologist is not concerned about them yet. But I am.

So, we're moving forward. Next school year, I will have one child starting high school, one starting Kindergarten and one starting Preschool. What an eventful year it will be!

I'm hoping to go back to school, myself, for massage therapy. I'd love to be able to offer my Mamas prenatal massage! But, I need to gather some tuition money before I can start. So, for now, I'm working on getting certified through Baby's First Massage. I'll be able to teach parents how to communicate with their newborns through the amazing power of touch. I'm very excited about adding this skill to my doula work!

Just here

2008-07-31T17:29:00.002-05:00

Not much happening for me in the doula world. It would help if I advertised I'm sure. That's on the agenda, really! I just have to do it.
I should be going to a wonderful NEIDA picnic for birth workers this Saturday. But the kids will be gone for the day, and hubby surprised me with a day out for a massage, manicure, and pedicure. Possibly a movie and dinner afterwards. I can't pass it up! Sorry, doulas, see you next time! I'll be hanging out at the spa...

My favorite things

2008-06-04T18:43:00.002-05:00

I was recently asked by a mom about my favorite part of birth. My immediate answer was "the delivery." Watching a new baby emerge is the most fascinating part of childbirth. But, after thinking about it for a day, I don't think it's really my favorite.

My favorite part of the whole process is the expression on both parents' faces just after the delivery. The father - filled with unbridled happiness and pure joy, unable to control the smile that lights up his face. The mother - ecstatic, joyful, and relieved. For that one moment, it doesn't matter if the birth went according to plan or went way off course. Nothing matters except that their new baby is here.

Long Break

2008-04-02T15:16:00.003-05:00

It's been too long since I posted here. And much too long since I've attended a birth. My last client was had a beautiful baby girl in January. Unfortuntaly, my entire family, including myself, was sick with the flu. So, I missed it! Luckily, I had a backup who was able to attend the labor and birth and everything turned out wonderfully...for them. But, man, I was so bummed to have missed it.
In December, I attended the birth of a beautiful baby boy. What a treat this birth was! The parents were adorable and loving. Grandma was visiting from India to help with the new baby. She didn't speak much English, but we didn't have a hard time communicating at all. Dad was somewhat put-out because Mom preferred holding my hand to his. She'd ask for me if I walked away even for a moment. But Dad understood, and was always nearby for when she did reach for him. It was a wonderful birth.
My November client was not so lucky. More than a week before her due date, after an office visit with OB trying to scare her into inducing, and then a hospital visit with more scare tactics, Mom went home to wait for her labor to start, naturally. A few days later, she was back in the hospital with more scare tactics. Her baby was "too big" to fit through her pelvis, or so the OB said. What a load of crap. Why didn't they just let the poor woman out of the bed so she could move and open her pelvis? Instead, she was left laying on her back, squashing her pelvis, to push. The baby did get stuck, shoulder dystocia. Of course, there are other contributing factors to the whole situation. I won't go into them here. I'll just thank the Gods that the baby is alive and well. He does have some damage that will hopefully be repaired, but he is well and healthy.
This birth is the reason I have not sought out more clients. I'm afraid, I guess. What if this happens again? Or worse? It was a horrifying experience. I'm not sure I could do it again. I know it's irrational. I'm told that all doulas will go through similar experiences at some point. I just have to process it, and move on. Thankfully, NEIDA is hosting a workshop on traumatic birth this summer. I'm definitely going to make sure I'm there.
I think I'm ready to move on now. I've gotten a couple of inquiries lately. I will follow up with them and get back into the groove. I just need to give myself a kick in the pants and go to it.

They're going!

2007-09-05T21:06:00.001-05:00

They're going! I can't believe it! 3 1/2 days without the boys! I'll be a mess, of course, with missing them and worrying about them. But I sure could use a break!

What's the Buzz?

2007-09-03T19:42:00.001-05:00

Not much happening here this week. I don't have any clients lined up right now. So, I have some extra time to spend on the ALACE CBE program. I'm considering attending ALACE's doula training workshop for a second time. There's one nearby in November. I think it would be interesting to go through the workshop with a little more experience than the first time. Of course, last August I was completely green and new to this work. So, it could really be interesting. I'll have to see if I can get the time away from work and kids.

The boys are supposed to be going away for 3 1/2 days this week! They're going on a trip with Grandma and Grandpa. I'm so looking forward to getting a little bit of time off from the kids. I don't have any Me things planned. Just lots of work around the house and on my final exam for my doula certification.

But, my plans may not come to fruition. Mike came home from his parents' house today and said Grandpa is feeling well. He's diabetic and occassionally has circulation problems in his legs. One leg is swollen now, and they, obviously, won't go on the trip if he doesn't get better by Wednesday. I don't blame them at all! Of course, I want him to be healthy and well. And traveling with circulation problems would not be safe nor smart.

But....I so want to be selfish and whine just a little. oh man, do I need that time off! His health is more important, though. So I may have to be a big girl and just smile and take it well.

Day Out with Thomas

2007-08-26T20:30:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, we took the kids to the Illinois Railway Museum for a Day Out with Thomas the Tank Engine. Rowan had a great time. It was really quite fun. Even Morgaine said it wasn't as lame as she expected it to be :)

We got to take a short train ride with Thomas! Woohoo! It was very exciting. We also got to see Sir Topem Hatt (okay, he was lame. It was a guy in a giant stuffed suit and a plastic head. A little creepy, actually).

The museum also has many trains on display. We took a tour through several of them and also watched a magic show. Rowan was quite impressed with the Thomas made of Legos.

And John? Well, he thought the whole day was exhausting...

Stormy Days

2007-08-23T20:37:00.000-05:00

Some strong storms passed through the area this afternoon. The boys were taking a nap and I was downstairs in the dungeon working. I had heard the thunder and rain through the baby monitor, but didn't realize just how bad it was until the power went out. I stumbled through the basement to the stairs and made my way up. The house was pitch black. I opened the curtains, but that didn't help much. It was dark outside, as well.

A few minutes after the power went out, Rowan woke up very early from his nap and was very concerned about the darkness. He called me over and over and begged me to turn on the lights. I went to his room and tried to explain about the power, but he's 3 and didn't really care for my explanation. By this time, John was startled awake by Rowan's crying and he began to cry too. So, I put Rowan into John's bed while I searched for a flashlight. Thank goodness for dinosaur flashlights. The kids play with that darn thing all the time, so I knew it had to be around somewhere relatively close by.

My MIL called to say there was a tornado warning for our area. I cracked open the window and heard the sirens, so downstairs we went.

I tried calling Morgaine to make sure she was safe. She was supposed to be walking from school to her dad's house, about 8 blocks. She didn't answer her cell phone and no one answered at her dad's house. After several minutes of trying to reach her, I freaked out and called Mike. I was frantic and worried about Morg and the boys were scared and there was lots of bad, scary energy floating around the house. I'm sure that phone call made Mike think I was totally insane. But he managed to calm me down and make me see that rushing out with the boys in the car to search for her would not be a good idea. So I waited and paced and tried to call about a zillion times. Finally she answered. She made it to her dad's house and was wet but safe. Thank the gods.

The storms have passed and everyone here is safe and unharmed. I hope you and your loved ones are safe, as well.

Blessings

Time keeps on ticking

2007-07-11T13:56:00.000-05:00

So much has happened lately that I've wanted to write about. But time often runs out before I get through my to-do list. July is apparently a slow month for me. I have no clients this month. I'm very much looking forward to my first water birth in August, though!
I had a great workshop at BRU last week. Unfortunately, all of the participants were planning on checking into the hospital and signing up for epidurals. The thought of natural birth didn't even seem to cross their minds. I think I was able to slip a few questions into one mom's mind. I hope she follows through and does some research before labor. I just have to remember that I'm there to give information, not change their minds.

June brought two babies to two wonderful couples, in two days. I was so blessed, though exhausted, to play a small role in their births.

K.K. was due on 6/10 and S.S. due on 6/22. I was a little concerned about the due dates since K.K. was having her first baby, and S.S. her third. I anticipated a little drama of crazy schedules and babysitting issues for my family. And the ladies didn't let me down. On Monday, 6/11, K.K. called about 7pm to say she had been having contractions for a few hours. They were still a bit far a part and she didn't think she needed me yet. So, I made dinner, gave the boys a bath and performed our normal bedtime rituals. Then right to bed for as much sleep as I could get before she called for me to meet her...at midnight...so out of bed and off I went.
It was my first homebirth. I'm hooked. I absolutely loved the whole experience. Mom and Dad were in sync and laboring together. Grandma was there helping out too. The nurse came to make sure everything was going well. Then the doctor arrived and climbed right up onto the bed with the mom and dad for the birth. Beautiful baby Annie Kay was born that morning. Another first for me, all my other clients have had boys! After helping the nurse clean up a bit, I went home for a nap.
I slept for about 2 hours before S.S. called. She had been having contractions all morning. They were still quite far apart and easy for her to manage. So, I went about my day with the kids. Later in the evening, I lead a workshop at BRU and then called S.S. to check in. Contractions were still about 20 minutes apart. So, home to evening return and bed. I checked back in Wednesday morning. She called her midwife for an appointment, but contractions still were spaced out. Thankfully, she was able to sleep most of the night. The midwife's office and the planned hospital were closer to my office than to home. So I decided to go into work until I heard from her again. We were finally ready to go to the hospital about 2pm. Contractions were now 3-4 minutes apart. It only took a couple of hours of hard labor for S.S. to deliver her beautiful baby boy.
It was a whirlwind two days for me. I'm so thankful to have been a part of it. And I'm very thankful for my family for letting me pursue my path.

Gardasil

2007-06-01T18:44:00.000-05:00

I was recently asked if I'd allow my daughter to get the Gardasil vaccine. It was developed to prevent girls from getting HPV virus, which can lead to an increased risk of cervical cancer. So far, at least three deaths of young girls have been attributed to this vaccine (Take a look at the article Judicial Watch Uncovers Three Deaths Relating to HPV vaccine http://www.judicialwatch.org/6299.shtml) One of those girls was 12 at the time of death.
I can not imagine the pain her parents must have gone through - are still going through. She was vaccinated in March 2007.
We all choose to vaccinate or not vaccinate our children based on the information we have at the time. We must weigh the benefits and risks and make the best decision for our child. I'm having a hard time finding the benefit for this particular vaccine. The more I read, the more disgusted I become. I don't agree with everything this site says, but it has links to great articles about Gardasil http://www.cogforlife.org/gardasil.htm.
Some states are actually mandating this vaccine for girls entering the sixth grade! How about mandating a class on sexual awareness and...wait for it...SAFE SEX. I do not believe that educating our children will make them promiscuous. It will make them informed and better able to make decisions. I guess in answer to the original question, I'd rather teach my daughter about sex and risks and alternatives. She most certainly will not be receiving this vaccine, at least until she is older and makes the decision on her own. It is approved for girls age 9-26. I hope she never makes the decision to get vaccinated. And if she does, I pray the vaccine has been improved and is no longer dangerous.

Boys and Girls

2007-06-01T18:34:00.000-05:00

I'm so thankful for my two beautiful little boys. And I'm also so very thankful for my beautiful pre-teen Morgaine who is most obviously going to be the death of me. Earlier this week she informed me that she would need to wear a tampon on Friday because maxis are just too bulky and icky to wear with her swimsuit. Oh boy.
Standing in the hall outside of the bathroom, I took a brief moment to reflect on my little girl's past 12 years. Then I mouthed a silent prayer, took a deep breath, and joined her in the bathroom. As I explained how to insert a tampon, it quickly became clear that she had no idea where to put it. Now, I've always tried to be open with her and have answered all of her questions honestly, no matter how painful for me. I just assumed the rest would come naturally. But no. All my fears of premature carnal knowledge were set aside when I saw the blank look on her face. Eventually, she got it.
I'm sure she would be mortified if she ever read this. So, if you know Morgaine, please don't tell her I told you, okay?

Blessed Sleep

2007-04-26T21:13:00.000-05:00

John and I have been seeing the doctors at Chiro One for a week now. John has slept for 8-9 hours a night since Monday. If only I had known months ago! We've had a sleepless year and now he's suddenly sleeping through the night. It's truly amazing! Chiropractic care works. In the Chicagoland area, check out Chiro One at www.chiroone.net. Dr. Brian, Dr. Maryam and the whole staff are wonderful. They treat their clients like members of the family.

I've been invited to join the board of directors of NEIDA- Northeastern Illinois Doula Association. I'm very excited to be working with this great group of doulas.

This Saturday is the NEIDA One Day Conference in Chicago. A whole day of networking with other doulas and learning new techniques and information! It'll be a blast.

I love this job :)

The Past week

2007-04-15T08:11:00.000-05:00

This week has been...interesting. I had the opportunity to apply for a full-time doula position in a non-profit agency working with teen moms. It would be so nice to quit my job that I hate and do something I love full-time. Big problems - 1. the pay stinks, 16k less than current ft job. 2. No work from home options - which is a major plus for current job. I have much more time to work on my doula business. 3. Only 40-50% of time is spent with clients. The rest is office time and the supervisors weren't able to tell me what the office time consists of. "Preparing for client meetings" is all they said. Well, that shouldn't take 4-5 hrs per day.
Oh well, that was Monday and they said they'd call by the end of the week. Haven't heard from them, so I'm assuming it's a non-issue and I can continue with the job I hate and have plenty of extra time with the kids.

Yesterday was the Maternity and Breastfeeding Fair at BRU. It was a very slow day. But, they're always hit or miss. Some months are so busy I barely have time to breathe in between visitors. And some times, like yesterday, I just stand around and chat with other vendors. I met a hilarious Mary Kay consultant, an American Family Insurance agent, a lactation consultant, Pampered Chef consultant, the owner of a 3D ultrasound business (actually, met him in October), and the cutest chiropractor who charmed me into signing up for an appointment. Darn it, now I have to figure out how to get to his office on Monday towing three kids, just after naptime and before hunny gets home. Ugh. Maybe I should have made the appointment a different day.

Today I have a meeting with a new client. She's having baby #3. I love third-time moms. Often, they've had 1 or 2 deliveries that weren't what they expected and now they're looking to have the birth of their dreams. I love being involved and helping them achieve the birth they want, or at least be at peace with the birth they have.

First and Second time moms are just as special, of course. First timers are always a little extra excited and nervous. And Second time moms are so self-confident and strong. Women are absolutely amazing.

John-John's Birthday Party

2007-03-31T20:33:00.000-05:00

Today we got the family together for Baby John's 1st birthday. There are only a few times a year when the whole family is together. So, when everyone's together, it's fun and draining too. What a long day it's been. Poor John came home, ate dinner, and was in bed by 7:30. Rowan will be in bed soon, too. And then I'll have the rest of the evening to work or hang out. I think I'll go to bed instead. I'm exhausted.
What awesome kids I have. They remind me everyday in so many ways how wonderful children are. Such amazing little people.

New Position?

2007-03-29T08:44:00.000-05:00

I'm a bit perplexed today. A position for a doula became open at the county health department working with teen moms and their families. It would be a great opportunity. However, I'd be giving up, or at least putting on hold, having my own business.
I think I'm going to apply for it and see what happens. They're looking for a BA, BS, or equivalent experience. I haven't even finished my certification yet. So, maybe it'll be a non-issue, after all. But another doula has said that it is great for newer doulas looking for experience. So, maybe it's a possibility. Anyway, I'll send in a resume and see where it leads.

My Journey

2007-03-26T09:04:00.000-05:00

I fell into doula work in a round about, backwards kind of way.
At 19 years old and pregnant with my first child, I knew I wanted a natural birth. I attended childbirth preperation classes like a good little girl, but often without my husband. They taught me how to hold my breathe, how to blow, how to be supported by my husband --- who rarely showed up for class. So, how exactly was he supposed to support me?

So, for birth #1, I staunchly refused any anethesia and made it through labor and delivery with just my will. Yes, husband was there. But he left the room every 10 minutes or so to smoke and chatted with the nurses when he actually was in the room. The nurses were very glad to offer me drugs with every contraction. But I refused. In the midst of pushing, I opened my eyes to the nurse laughing as she said, "I bet you wish you had taken the drugs now!" Exactly a week after my 20th birthday, I laid in the bed hooked up to the monitors and cried and screamed and finally gave birth to my beautiful little girl. Natural birth achieved! But not very comfortably.

Ten years and a new husband later, I was pregnant with Beastie Boy #1. I made it clear from early on that I would not be having anethesia and would need a good deal of support. Hunny was wonderful until I was in transition. When I really needed his support, he began begging me to take some drugs. So, I gave in and had them give me Stadol. That was the worst experience! I really wouldn't recommend it. When BB1 was laid on my chest, I was very disconnected from the whole situation. I just looked at him and thought, "Yeah, that's a baby alright." I did not get the immediate rush of love and admiration that I had with my first.

Then came BB#2. Early on, I felt very wrong about the pregnancy. I can't explain it, really. Things just didn't feel right. I spent months worrying about what could be making me feel that way. All of my prenatals showed the baby was growing strong. Because of my concerns, Hunny asked me to get an epidural. Just in case the feelings I had were a premonition of a birth emergency. So, I did. And what an awful experience that was! I had absolutley no control. I needed help just to turn from one side to the other. I laid in bed and watched the American Idol result show and then a half hour of some tv game show. At 9pm, I became very physically uncomfortable and agitated. I called for the nurse and asked her to help me turn back over. I told her that I wanted the epidural turned off because I couldn't stand to lay in the bed anymore. I had to get up. She checked me and then said not to push until she got the doctor. The doctor was concerned that I wouldn't be able to push strong enough because of the epidural. But I told her she was not going to use forceps for the vacuum. And I pushed that baby out with two contractions. My earlier worrying was really for nothing. He is a perfect, healthy baby boy.

When BB2 had trouble breastfeeding, I started researching and found a connection that epidural babies often have trouble breastfeeding. Why didn't I research that before? One topic seemed to lead to another, and before I knew it I was knee deep in information I should have been learning about all along.

Then I found the magic word: "DOULA" The answer to all of my birthing problems. Unfortunately, I found that answer after I had all the babies I was planning to have. So, I started on a new adventure- becoming a doula myself, to help other mothers in the same situation.

Moms need support to have the birth they desire - regardless of whether they want a natural birth or medicated birth. And so do dads. That's what the doula's for. Extra hands, extra love, and extra support.